Why Do Certain Relationship Patterns Keep Repeating?
Have you ever found yourself in the same relationship dynamic over and over again—different person, same emotional rollercoaster?
Maybe you always end up:
Over-giving and feeling emotionally drained.
Attracting emotionally unavailable partners.
Second-guessing yourself, even when things are going well.
It’s easy to feel like this is just bad luck. But the truth is, your attachment style is at work behind the scenes, shaping the way you connect, trust, and even choose partners.
On my recent feature on the French Kissing Life podcast, I unpack the science behind why we repeat relationship patterns—and how to break the cycle.
The Hidden Influence of Attachment Styles
Your attachment style is your brain’s blueprint for relationships. It was shaped by your early experiences and plays out in your love life, friendships, and even work relationships—often without you realizing it.
If you’re anxiously attached…
→ You may over-function in relationships, always trying to prove your worth.
→ You might fear abandonment and seek reassurance constantly.
→ You feel deeply attuned to others but struggle with self-trust.
If you’re avoidantly attached…
→ You crave independence and feel smothered when people get too close.
→ Emotional intimacy can feel uncomfortable, so you pull away or shut down.
→ You may pride yourself on being "low maintenance" but struggle with deeper connection.
If you flip between both (disorganized attachment)…
→ Relationships feel like a constant push and pull between craving love and fearing it.
→ You don’t always trust people, but you also don’t want to be alone.
→ Your nervous system stays in survival mode, making relationships feel exhausting.
It’s Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility
Here’s the truth: Your attachment style isn’t something you chose—it’s something you adapted to.
Your brain wired itself for survival, and that meant developing coping strategies to navigate connection, rejection, and emotional safety.
But while your attachment patterns aren’t your fault, they are your responsibility. Healing requires awareness, intentionality, and nervous system repair.
That’s what I explore in this powerful conversation on the French Kissing Life podcast:
How your childhood experiences created your attachment blueprint
Why anxious & avoidant patterns often lead to self-sabotage
How attachment wounds show up in work, friendships, and decision-making
The 5-minute daily check-in I use with clients to shift toward secure attachment
How My Workbook, Attachment Style Makeover, Can Help You Heal
Understanding your attachment style is just the first step. The real transformation happens when you start reprogramming your nervous system for secure relationships.
That’s exactly why I created Attachment Style Makeover—a workbook designed to help you:
Recognize your attachment patterns in real-time
Shift from anxious, avoidant, or disorganized attachment toward secure connection
Build self-trust, emotional safety, and healthier relationship dynamics
If you’re ready to break the cycle and finally feel at ease in your relationships, this workbook is for you.
Listen to the Podcast & Start Healing Today
Your attachment style doesn’t define you—it’s just a starting point. The moment you start becoming aware of your patterns, you begin the process of healing them.
Listen to the full episode here
Grab Attachment Style Makeover
I’d love to hear your thoughts: Have you ever noticed patterns in your relationships that seem to repeat? What attachment shifts have helped you the most? Let’s talk in the comments below.
