Free Therapy Thursday: How Do You Know You've Found The Right Therapist?
During a Free Therapy Thursday segment on the Bert Show, I discussed a topic many people face—how to find the right therapist for you. The process of finding a therapist can be daunting, and in many ways, it's similar to dating. You won’t feel those metaphorical neon lights flashing, but you should at least experience a sense of relief as you talk to them about what you need help with. Here’s a breakdown of what I shared to help make this journey a little easier.
Realistic Expectations
One thing to keep in mind is that finding the right therapist isn’t always love at first sight. Don’t expect instant fireworks, but there should be a moment of relief when you start opening up and feel like they understand your needs. Therapy is about building trust over time, so it’s okay if it doesn’t feel perfect right away.
Prioritizing Fit Over Cost
It can be tempting to choose a therapist based on who’s in your insurance network, but sometimes this approach can slow your healing. If a therapist lacks specialized training in what you need, you might end up spending more time (and money) over the long haul. It’s often worth the investment to work with someone who is the best fit for your needs, even if they’re out of network.
Here are a few ways to make it work financially:
Ask for a superbill if you have out-of-network benefits.
Inquire about sliding scale fees or negotiate payment plans.
Check out the Loveland Therapy Fund for BIPOC women.
Consider joining a therapy group led by someone you can’t afford for 1:1 sessions—this can supplement your individual work.
Signs You’ve Found the Right Fit
They specialize in the issues you want help with.
You can picture yourself opening up to them after visiting their website.
Their website or profile copy resonates with you.
During a consultation, you feel safe and understood.
After a few sessions, you feel comfortable being vulnerable with them.
You feel seen, heard, and validated in your experiences.
If you’re just starting your search, here are some great directories:
Mental Health Match
Inclusive Therapists
Therapy for Black Girls
Signs Therapy is Working
You notice your uncomfortable emotions are becoming lighter and less frequent.
You might have less to discuss in sessions because you’re making progress.
You begin to feel more hopeful about your situation and your ability to handle what comes next.
You’re getting closer to—or have already achieved—the goals that brought you into therapy.
It’s becoming easier to talk about your pain points without shutting down.
Anxiety About Starting Therapy
It’s completely normal to feel anxious about starting therapy. Remember that the relationship you form with your therapist is different from other relationships, but similar principles apply. You’re allowed to set boundaries, take your time to build trust, and only talk about what you feel comfortable with. Knowing this can help ease any fears or worries.
Signs It’s Time to Break Up With Your Therapist
If you’re already in therapy but aren’t sure it’s the right fit, there are a few signs it might be time to move on. Ultimately, the bottom line is this: Be more committed to your growth and healing than to staying with a particular therapist. If the relationship isn’t serving your needs, it’s okay to find someone who will.
Finding the right therapist can take time, but it’s worth the effort to ensure you’re working with someone who genuinely understands and supports your journey. Stay committed to your healing, and the right therapist will come.
