Free Therapy Thursday: How Should He Break His Drug Problem To His Family?

I recently had the opportunity to join the Bert Show for a segment called Free Therapy Thursday, and one listener’s story really stood out. A husband, outwardly thriving in his career and social life, reached out because he’s struggling with a cocaine addiction and doesn’t know how to tell his wife. His email was filled with vulnerability and fear, and he needed advice on how to start this difficult conversation.

In the segment, I emphasized that it takes real courage to recognize when you need help and to be open to change. Here are some of the key points I shared:

1. Set Simple, Realistic Goals for the Conversation

When preparing for such an emotional and sensitive conversation, it’s important to set clear and achievable intentions. Your goals might be as simple as:

• Telling the whole truth without holding back.

• Avoiding defensiveness or making excuses.

• Staying emotionally regulated so that your wife can have space to express her own feelings.

Speaking your intentions out loud can be a great way to stay focused and communicate what you want and need from the conversation.

2. Recognize Signs to Pause the Conversation

There’s a good chance that emotions will run high. If either of you becomes overwhelmed or emotionally flooded, it’s okay to take a break and revisit the conversation later. Consider this disclosure as the first of many conversations. Taking breaks can ensure that both you and your wife have the time to process your emotions and thoughts without feeling overwhelmed.

BONUS TIP: Responding Differently to Urges

One of the most challenging parts of addiction is recognizing and responding differently to your urges. I encouraged the listener to reach out to a local treatment facility to explore options like free assessments or finding funding for treatment. For additional support, I suggested looking into SmartRecovery.org, a helpful resource for those navigating recovery from addiction.

Having these difficult conversations is never easy, but it's the first step toward healing—for both you and your relationship. Whether you're struggling with addiction or facing another challenge, honesty and communication are essential in creating a path forward.

This segment resonated with me because it highlights the importance of breaking stigmas and opening up about personal battles in our relationships. If you’re going through something similar, know that help is available, and reaching out for support is one of the most courageous things you can do.